Breaking the Silence: Redefining Marriage Hurts Women Like Me – and Our Children

This article was originally published on September 22, 2014 in The Public Discourse. Janna Darnelle lives in Washington State.

Every time a new state redefines marriage, the news is full of happy stories of gay and lesbian couples and their new families. But behind those big smiles and sunny photographs are other, more painful stories. These are left to secret, dark places. They are suppressed, and those who would tell them are silenced in the name of “marriage equality.”

But I refuse to be silent.

I represent one of those real life stories that are kept in the shadows. I have personally felt the pain and devastation wrought by the propaganda that destroys natural families.

The Divorce

In the fall of 2007, my husband of almost ten years told me that he was gay and that he wanted a divorce. In an instant, the world that I had known and loved-the life we had built together-was shattered.

I tried to convince him to stay, to stick it out and fight to save our marriage. But my voice, my desires, my needs-and those of our two young children-no longer mattered to him. We had become disposable, because he had embraced one tiny word that had become his entire identity. Being gay trumped commitment, vows, responsibility, faith, fatherhood, marriage, friendships, and community. All of this was thrown away for the sake of his new identity.

Try as I might to save our marriage, there was no stopping my husband. Our divorce was not settled in mediation or with lawyers. No, it went all the way to trial. My husband wanted primary custody of our children. His entire case can be summed up in one sentence: “I am gay, and I deserve my rights.” It worked: the judge gave him practically everything he wanted. At one point, he even told my husband, “If you had asked for more, I would have given it to you.”

I truly believe that judge was legislating from the bench, disregarding the facts of our particular case and simply using us-using our children- to help influence future cases. In our society, LGBT citizens are seen as marginalized victims who must be protected at all costs, even if it means stripping rights from others. By ignoring the injustice committed against me and my children, the judge seemed to think that he was correcting a larger injustice.

My husband had left us for his gay lover. They make more money than I do. There are two of them and only one of me. Even so, the judge believed that they were the victims. No matter what I said or did, I didn’t have a chance of saving our children from being bounced around like so many pieces of luggage.

A New Same-Sex Family-Built On the Ruins of Mine

My ex-husband and his partner went on to marry. Their first ceremony took place before our state redefined marriage. After it created same-sex marriage, they chose to have a repeat performance. In both cases, my children were forced-against my will and theirs-to participate. At the second ceremony, which included more than twenty couples, local news stations and papers were there to document the first gay weddings officiated in our state. USA Today did a photo journal shoot on my ex and his partner, my children, and even the grandparents. I was not notified that this was taking place, nor was I given a voice to object to our children being used as props to promote same-sex marriage in the media.

At the time of the first ceremony, the marriage was not recognized by our state, our nation, or our church. And my ex-husband’s new marriage, like the majority of male-male relationships, is an “open,” non-exclusive relationship. This sends a clear message to our children: what you feel trumps all laws, promises, and higher authorities. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want-and it doesn’t matter who you hurt along the way.

After our children’s pictures were publicized, a flood of comments and posts appeared. Commenters exclaimed at how beautiful this gay family was and congratulated my ex-husband and his new partner on the family that they “created.” But there is a significant person missing from those pictures: the mother and abandoned wife. That “gay family” could not exist without me.

There is not one gay family that exists in this world that was created naturally.

Every same-sex family can only exist by manipulating nature. Behind the happy façade of many families headed by same-sex couples, we see relationships that are built from brokenness. They represent covenants broken, love abandoned, and responsibilities crushed. They are built on betrayal, lies, and deep wounds.

This is also true of same-sex couples who use assisted reproductive technologies such as surrogacy or sperm donation to have children. Such processes exploit men and women for their reproductive potential, treat children as products to be bought and sold, and purposely deny children a relationship with one or both of their biological parents. Wholeness and balance cannot be found in such families, because something is always missing.I am missing. But I am real, and I represent hundreds upon thousands of spouses who have been betrayed and rejected.

If my husband had chosen to stay, I know that things wouldn’t have been easy. But that is what marriage is about: making a vow and choosing to live it out, day after day. In sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, spouses must choose to put the other person first, loving them even when it’s hard.

A good marriage doesn’t only depend on sexual desire, which can come and go and is often out of our control. It depends on choosing to love, honor, and be faithful to one person, forsaking all others. It is common for spouses to be attracted to other people-usually of the opposite sex, but sometimes of the same sex. Spouses who value their marriage do not act on those impulses. For those who find themselves attracted to people of the same sex, staying faithful to their opposite-sex spouse isn’t a betrayal of their true identity. Rather, it’s a decision not to let themselves be ruled by their passions. It shows depth and strength of character when such people remain true to their vows, consciously striving to remember, honor, and revive the love they had for their spouses when they first married.

My Children Deserve Better

Our two young children were willfully and intentionally thrust into a world of strife and combative beliefs, lifestyles, and values, all in the name of “gay rights.” Their father moved into his new partner’s condo, which is in a complex inhabited by sixteen gay men. One of the men has a 19-year-old male prostitute who comes to service him. Another man, who functions as the father figure of this community, is in his late sixties and has a boyfriend in his twenties. My children are brought to gay parties where they are the only children and where only alcoholic beverages are served. They are taken to transgender baseball games, gay rights fundraisers, and LGBT film festivals.

Both of my children face identity issues, just like other children. Yet there are certain deep and unique problems that they will face as a direct result of my former husband’s actions. My son is now a maturing teen, and he is very interested in girls. But how will he learn how to deal with that interest when he is surrounded by men who seek sexual gratification from other men? How will he learn to treat girls with care and respect when his father has rejected them and devalues them? How will he embrace his developing masculinity without seeing his father live out authentic manhood by treating his wife and family with love, honoring his marriage vows even when it’s hard?

My daughter suffers too. She needs a dad who will encourage her to embrace her femininity and beauty, but these qualities are parodied and distorted in her father’s world. Her dad wears make-up and sex bondage straps for Halloween. She is often exposed to men dressing as women. The walls in his condo are adorned with large framed pictures of women in provocative positions. What is my little girl to believe about her own femininity and beauty? Her father should be protecting her sexuality. Instead, he is warping it.

Without the guidance of both their mother and their father, how can my children navigate their developing identities and sexuality? I ache to see my children struggle, desperately trying to make sense of their world.

My children and I have suffered great losses because of my former husband’s decision to identify as a gay man and throw away his life with us. Time is revealing the depth of those wounds, but I will not allow them to destroy me and my children. I refuse to lose my faith and hope. I believe so much more passionately in the power of the marriage covenant between one man and one woman today than when I was married. There is another way for those with same-sex attractions. Destruction is not the only option-it cannot be. Our children deserve far better from us.

This type of devastation should never happen to another spouse or child. Please, I plead with you: defend marriage as being between one man and one woman. We must stand for marriage-and for the precious lives that marriage creates.

Janna Darnelle is a mother, writer, and an advocate for upholding marriage between one man and one woman. She mentors others whose families have been impacted by homosexuality.

27 replies
  1. HELEN
    HELEN says:

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  2. CeeCee
    CeeCee says:

    Janna, I am so proud of you for openly sharing your powerful and heart-wrenching story. I, too, was left by my husband so he could live out his “true identity” as a gay man. I am so blessed to have been awarded custody of my 2 children, but they did go to visit his home on a regular basis. After a few years, my ex actually became disenchanted with his gay lifestyle, wanting but never finding that one person (man) who would love him forever. Although he still considers himself to be gay, he does not live with anyone or expose my children to that side of his life. My heart aches for you, because I know how easily your story could be mine, as well. I will pray for you and your children, for protection of their hearts and minds, and for peace and comfort for yours. We are a small sisterhood of women who need to tell our stories and let other women in the same place know that they are not alone.

    • Richard Sievert
      Richard Sievert says:

      I am not a woman but have the same feelings as the one chased by the sick system, to where there is no end. All I do is the best I can. God above sees I am upright honest and even to my neighborhood as where the example for all children I regret what she’s gone through with her husband I honestly feel sorry for her, my advice though is be what you are and move on. He will not change after having felt the lust of the flesh where like you say they captured him with their tools. I feel for all women who’ve been subjected to their man going the other direction what they all fail to see is our skin is part of the attraction a animal instinct. I personally know females skin are softer more intricit delicate and pleasing to a strong hand. If strong hands love other strong hands it leaves out the delicate personalities your right about allot of things author of this story, I’ll pray for you’re cause, men are also left out as well if the other side finds out are detest their emoral behaviour they place social blocks on us even bisexual women.

  3. Barius
    Barius says:

    And how many Christian women have walked out on their perfectly good, straight, husbands? Taking the kids, the house, his life and more? Latching onto one man after another, often exposing her children to a terrible environment?

    Oh that’s right, *more* than 50% of “natural” marriages fail in today’s world! Vastly more of them of the Christian variety!

    Get a grip you fools, you bigots and you self serving Jezebels. You’re not being attacked but you are attacking. You’re not being forced to live a hidden life, but you are forcing others. You are not hurt by the love others share, but you want to hurt their love.

    You are the problem. Learn to love and not judge.

    • Nancy
      Nancy says:

      The debate here is about a specific group of individuals who happen to be gay who have demanded and won (by bullying, lobbying, and deception) the right to be married under WA state law. The intent of marriage by tradition worldwide has always been for it to be a stable, monogamous one man/one women relationship, creating an optimum environment for the well-being, stability, and protection of children where they can learn the unique benefits of both roles, male and female. The two adults were to be committed to one another over the course of a lifetime, not changing with the culture or by whim, but providing a solid base for family life. When either the husband or the wife was unfaithful to the other, fracturing the trust and putting the children at risk, divorce has been allowed. Not one person who has written a comment here has said that it is appropriate for either person in even a heterosexual couple to be so self-centered that he/she acts out sexually in public to flaunt themselves or to play sexual roulette with multiple partners the way a majority of gays do. Now that they can marry, the homosexual community has revealed their true intent: to change the rules about marriage to mean social acceptance of bedding with multiple partners with no intended commitment, including the use of prostitutes in home environments with children. This is where the argument lies. Take off you blinders. Your resorting to name calling is pathetic and degrades yourself and does not speak well for someone who claims to be defending “love”. You are avoiding the real issues. Love and lust are not the same thing. Love puts others first. Lust is all about self . Those of us who “get” what marriage is supposed to be will never accept or regard with respect any adult relationship, heterosexual or homosexual, that makes sexual toys out of people. Man, in contrast to animals, has a soul which binds him to a conscience that holds him accountable for behavior. How we treat each other matters, especially where highly impressionable kids are involved. If gays want to live in a circus atmosphere, entertaining themselves with a revolving door of sex partners, that is their choice, but we don’t have to endorse it or support it. Homosexuals or wayward heterosexuals have no right to demand that the rest of us call what they are doing “marriage”. It simply isn’t. Promiscuity along this line is the manifestation of a reckless obsession. The same occurs when a man or woman becomes addicted to pornography which is sexual mind play with someone you don’t even know or care about, likewise when a husband or wife cheats on their lawful partner. Your belief about marriage and being a responsible parent is warped and twisted if you believe this man is to be esteemed.

      • LovingAtheist
        LovingAtheist says:

        Wow. I am literally speechless at how incrediblely bigotted you sound. Replace much of your wording with black and you sir are a class A racist. I think you need mental help, I don’t recommend going to your church to acquire it.

        • Nancy
          Nancy says:

          Who is the “sir” you are referring to? What on earth does any of this have to do with race and blacks? You are ranting. And you are a loving atheist? Please crawl back into your dark hole and feed yourself some more propaganda from the Left to fuel your ignorance. If your mind devours garbage, that is what comes out. You are on the way to becoming a mushroom by refusing to question the lies that you thrive on.

    • Adam
      Adam says:

      Please give us the source where you claim that “vastly more” Christian marriages fail. If stating a fact, you should be able to give us where your data came from and the exact number. By the way, calling people idiots is mean-spirited and emotionally driven and lacking intelligence and good taste.

  4. MMC
    MMC says:

    God bless you Janna for speaking the cold and hard truth about the evil of sodomy. Homosexuality is DISORDERED and you do nobody ANY favors for going along with the destructive lifestyle of sodomy. Blood, feces, lube…colons falling out…sex addiction…drugs…diseases and most importantly the destruction of an eternal soul. Yes, it’s hard to hear…but the answer to homosexual attractions isn’t giving into them…it’s seeking God’s grace, Christ centered counseling and good nutritional supplements to get to the root of them and get them out of your life. How many millions of people are dead b/c of sodomy? How many children will never know their father or mother b/c they were purposely denied them? You think stating these things is “harsh?” Try living the temporal and eternal consequences of selfish, self centered, egotistical, perverted and evil behavior. ANYTHING outside sacramental marriage is lust…not love. It is CHILD ABUSE to purposely bring a child into this world who will not have a mother or father. This world needs to stop being so narcissistic and obsessed with their own emotionalism. Life is not about our subjective “happiness”…some emo addiction that we “need” to have. Life is not about “feeling” good…it’s about BEING good…and we can only be good when we live in objective truth which is Jesus Christ and His Holy Catholic Church based in 2000 years of Sacred Tradition. Natural Law, logic, reason and historical fact point to this. It won’t “feel” good to be a GOOD person at first…but the “feelings” will follow in time. It’s time we grow up and be authentically LOVING people. No, not the shallow and self centered emo love of modernity…but the SELFLESS, GOOD, SACRIFICING and based in OBJECTIVE TRUTH love. Janna, this is your crucible to become a saint. Go to Our Lord and surrender everything to Him…His grace will console and guide you in His will so that your beloved children will be safe during this horrific time…and that your lost and evil husband may one day have the veil removed and be set free from the chains of sodomy. I belong to a group of Catholics who have lost loved ones in the sodomy world. Look us up! We are called “Encourage the Faithful” on Yahoo Groups. You need support during this crisis…your cross is heavy so it’s good to know you aren’t alone:+) God bless~

  5. rebecca
    rebecca says:

    Janna has every reason to be upset and concerned for her children, but the title of this article is misleading. The core problem here would not be solved if we didn’t redefine marriage, while the details might be different this isn’t a new scenario. THE REAL ISSUE IS A MAN WITHOUT VALUES, NOT THE FACT THAT HE IS GAY. Breaking commitments, putting children in situations not appropriate for children, would this situation be somehow less tragic for Janna if her husband had left her for another woman? No way. And this happens all too often too. It’s wrong to think all gay people lack values because of this man just as it would be wrong to think all straight people lack values because of what my friend’s husband did to her and their children.

    The judge should not side with one person because of their sexual orientation and even though it’s not right, I’m sure it happens both ways.

    I think the statement about surrogacy or sperm donation is really harsh. Do you have any friends that have issues with infertility? Are the processes they go through immoral too? Or it’s ok to “buy and sell children as products” if you are heterosexual?

  6. Linda
    Linda says:

    Janna, Thank you for sharing your story. I agree with Nancy. Perhaps there is a legal service that could represent you and your children. Your ex-husband is from the ‘If it feels good-do it”. That isn’t what loving, nurturing, caring parents are about. Responsible parents do not expose their children to pornography and alcohol. As a mother and a grandmother I would never dress in provocative clothing, get drunk or expose my children/grand children to sexual images or movies. Why not? Because research shows that children are harmed by these behaviors. In an historic study of children raised by homosexual parents, sociologist Mark Regnerus of the University of Texas at Austin has overturned the conventional academic wisdom that such children suffer no disadvantages when compared to children raised by their married mother and father. I will be praying for you and your children that God will give you strength to pursue custody of your children and remove them from this harmful environment that your ex-husband is providing for them.

  7. Roy
    Roy says:

    Janna, thank you for sharing your real-life experiences which reflect the true impact of sexual perversion. Your article took a lot of courage in an environment where more and more people simply acquiesce under the guise of political correctness.

    It is despicable that we insist on making what our Creator says is an abomination into an issue for “equality” (which really means preference).Someone has observed that the real “hate crime” is not telling people the medical truth regarding the physical and mental devastation caused by same-sex sexuality.

    Thank you for shedding some light on this matter even though the medical community continues to turn a blind eye to it.

  8. Kevin
    Kevin says:

    I wonder if you can see, Janna, how hateful and spiteful your article is. You demean other living human beings with every turn of phrase, denigrating them as functionally subhuman because you can’t see past your own hurt over a broken marriage. Did you consider the kind of life your children would have had if your ex-husband had stayed in a relationship he knew was doomed? Can you imagine what’s being communicated to your children if they were in a home where one parent was forced to functionally lie about the reality of his being just to “keep up appearances”? Did you think about the reality that they DO have a better quality of life with two parents who can afford to care for them and meet their needs, vs. a single mother who would struggle at every turn to provide for two children?

    Did you think about the fact that your son, who is attracted to girls, can learn how to properly love and care for another HUMAN BEING, and apply that to whomever he’s with, or do you only think that one can learn to care for their partner if they’re from a household with one woman and one man? Your ignorance in this astounds me.

    I’m straight. I don’t have a single gay feeling. From a very early age, I’ve only been attracted to women. But I recognize love when I see it, and I believe that children, when a marriage dissolves, should be with the parent who can best care for their needs until they’re capable of providing for themselves. You object to the environment your children are now in? Consider if you had won custody, Would your ex-husband have possibly objected to any possible men who might have tried to enter your life in that time, or were you planning on being unmarried until both children were in the house? You only see YOUR feelings, and YOUR perspectives, and not those of another human being, solely because you disagree with how that person lives their life, and additionally because you can’t see past your blatant hatred of homosexuals.

    You’re a disgusting individual, and this article has managed to do one thing: show that your children are, in fact, in a likely better community and family than whatever your shattered life could provide for them.

    Get past your bitterness.

    • Joan
      Joan says:

      Kevin, you totally missed the point and showed disrespect for Janna who is living out this nightmare. This man made commitments, and he did not honor them nor did he show any willingness to compromise . Clearly he was out to vindictively screw Janna, and he chose what was most precious to her, their children, to do it. To call Janna “disgusting” is the worst kind of argument. At least put out sound reasoning to defend your position. It is unhealthy and confusing for children to be in a home environment with blatant sexuality going on along both with and without the presense of alcohol. Mature adults respect boundaries where minors are concerned. Any ethical sociologist, psychologist, or psychiatrist would tell you this is developmentally harmful to children and the recipe for disaster. Her children are being thrown into a social experiment to find out if they come out traumatized or not. What if one of these drunken men raped this woman’s son or daughter? Do you think it is OK for adults to parade around nude in front of minors which is what gays often do? Gee, I thought that was called indecent exposure and you could be arrested for that. How is it selfish for Janna to be concerned about this? There is a big difference between discernment/good judgment and prejudice/ discrimination. Janna is showing appropriate concern and cares about the long-term effects this will have on her children’s health and mental well-being. She has every right that he does. What don’t you get about this? Why are you labelling her the bad guy? She has the right to want to protect her daughter and son from being raised in a sexually charged environment with pornographic picture on the walls. What don’t you get or want to admit is wrong about this? I am truly concerned about your lack of sense of decency. I certainly hope you aren’t a dad. You are totally denying that the homosexual lifestyle is out of balance. It is centered on outrageous, boundless sex at all costs. It is about flaunting what you do in rebellion to get attention, throwing it in other people’s faces, and demanding to be applauded for it. I’m sorry, but you creep me out. There is no way those kids are safe as pawns in a gay community with no way out to escape it. They are being held hostage. Think about that and forget for one moment about being politically correct. I am unimpressed by your warm, fuzzy support for this gay man. You have been deceived.

    • Joan
      Joan says:

      One thing that you have “forgotten”, Kevin, is that contracting AIDS in this type of reckless home environment is putting Janna’s children at critical risk. I hope that she gets a fantastic attorney who nails this man without a conscience for incompetency, neglect, abuse, and exposing his children to great harm. He should lose his visitation rights altogether.

      • CaringAtheist
        CaringAtheist says:

        Did you really just say that you are afraid that the kids will catch AIDS from there father? My head is spinning at the stupidity that just came from that statement . This woman is obviously very torn up and butt hurt about the disaster her marriage ended in and is distraught that she doesn’t have her kids but lumping every other gay/lesbian into the same category as her exhusband is just pitiful and wrong . You need to take a break from posting stories and go get some new perspective in your own life before the bigotry takes over your entire being . I am very sad for this woman I really am but her life isn’t over and neither are her children’s lives . Stop , breathe and look around for a moment you are alive , your children are as well and the man you used to love is alive also.. that is a starting point at least and get into some PTSD therapy asap before you dig a hole that you won’t be able to climb out of on your own

        • Chris
          Chris says:

          Please read carefully. . . She did not say the children would get AIDS from their father, but if either of them is sexually exploited by him or any of his partners, they could be exposed. This father is known to be promiscuous and not committed to one partner and is regularly serviced by a male prostitute. Based on his history, he doesn’t display good judgment in regard to himself, his reputation, or his children. It would not be out of character for him to put his son and daughter at risk. If the gay community ever wants to win “respect”, they need to stop parading around nude at gay pride parades, end their outrageous lewd public activity and foul profanity, quit bashing anyone who wants to live in what they consider a godly way, and act like decent human beings. They have created an image for themselves and now they blame others for it and call themselves the victims. This is utter baloney and twisting the truth. Healthy people do not demand continual attention for how they get their sexual gratification. They don’t think only of themselves and are considerate of the feelings.sensitivities, and beliefs of others. Healthy folks don’t make pushing the sexual boundaries their priority and sole passion in life. Gays need to keep their pants on when they are out in the big world, shut their mouths unless they have something respectful to say, and quit acting like animals and show they are in control of themselves. Too many of them are unwilling to grow up and that is why they need counseling, and we in turn need protection from their lawlessness and reckless, rebellious inability to practice appropriate social behavior. Kids don’t belong in the middle of adult orgies, period. If you don’t agree with this, you are as perverted as this dad is. Indoctrinating children to become self-centered and hedonistic sexual animals is immoral. That is what this father is doing. We have laws to curtail this because society has agreed that kids should not become the sexual toys for adults. We know that their innocent minds and sense of safety and well-being can be permanently destroyed by witnessing toxic behavior that confuses lust with love. Since when is sodomy love???

  9. Truth In Light
    Truth In Light says:

    Well of course the situation is awful. Any situation when the Kids have been thrust in an environment where there is only one parent is terrible. The mother seems to have been sort of ousted as well. Was there no potential for an amicable breakup? The author said her son is a maturing teen. What maturing teen does not have access to communicate with their mother via the same channels the mother is using to post her personal experiences? The story kind of has some gaps I’d love to hear the author expand upon.

    But to the rest of your post, sex and sexual gratification is a pretty big part of a loving relationship as well. It’s clear his current partner has to had something other than sex for her ex Husband to want to shack up with him as well, and its clear there is something there that she clearly could not fulfill.

    That’s a common story: A man and woman come together and marry, but the man has a repressed other side and breaks an otherwise healthy marriage. It’s sad, but if he had a partner so soon after the marriage, clearly he had been dating the other man and the author was blind to it. At some point she has to admit that there were ways their partnership was incomplete, and if they never talked about it I bet I can identify communication issues as one of those problems. I believe in that case she would be called a ‘beard’ (I believe the terminology is). He had a front of a perfectly normal life with a wife and kids because his inner desires and what he wanted was seen as distasteful to others. He hid his ‘abnormality’ for fear of being judged and rights held from him. He caved to societal and family pressure and probably kept up the facade until he could no longer take it. I’m sorry that it had to break the author’s heart, but that kind of story is not uncommon. Much of the US was very gay-unfriendly ten+ years ago and still is.

    And the USA isn’t a Theocracy. Although it tries. We can’t tie religion to law.

    However, trying to cultivate ill feeling towards homosexuals is just going to create more beards and more jackasses who lead double lives. Imagine the confusion if she raised a son who was homosexual, and lived his whole life with a mother who told him it was wrong and an abomination and would be shameful to the family. When that boy grows up he might try to bend to his family’s will and marry and create a family, but he will still be homosexual. Either he will repress it (And the potential for that repression progressing into something else unhealthy is great – like physical abuse) or he might find an outlet (Which is no better, really).

  10. Susie Franklin
    Susie Franklin says:

    “Truth in light”: So you do not think that this is an awful situation for this family? And especially the kids? Your lack of compassion should be of some concern. This man was/is selfish, caring only about filling his sexual pleasure and nothing else. God created each of us in His Image and loves us even when we mess up. He sent His Son to suffer in our place so that we can have eternal life. We can run from and deny this Truth all of our lives, but it doesn’t change the Truth.

  11. Truth In Light
    Truth In Light says:

    Circular logic of “My husband was a repressed gay man who later found himself, so lets repress more gay men so that this story repeats itself with different players” isn’t a great train of thought.

    I’ve never heard of a man that hasn’t thought about being gay, then after being with you a while, a flip suddenly turns on and he’s like “Yeah, this is awful. I’m Gay”. You need to come to the realization that he was probably always gay and succumbed to societal norms or other outside pressure to be ‘straight’.

    Oh, and he’s dressing up for Halloween. What a terrible person.

  12. Peter
    Peter says:

    I know a family much like yours. A man with two kids and a wife suddenly “discovers” he is gay. He leaves and takes the kids to live with boyfriend number 1. It isn’t long before boyfriend #1 is gone, and there are boyfriends 2, 3, 4, 5 and beyond – I stopped counting. The kids are back with mom now, while their father is off acting like an irresponsible, wanton pig.

  13. Nancy
    Nancy says:

    Janna, your story is heartbreaking. Have you talked to the folks at any of the Christian legal organizations to find out how your ex-husband can be stopped from this abuse which is what it is? You need strong legal counsel. Even if your ex were straight, to raise kids in an environment that is so openly full of alcohol and pornography is illegal for a parent to do as far as I know. Child protective services is not doing their job. The gay community will never acknowledge this, but your ex is obsessed with perverted sex. To be that self-centered and stuck on sexual encounters without boundaries is sick and dangerous. I will be praying that God’s angels surround your children and blind them to this evil so that it doesn’t take hold of their hearts and minds. I will pray for you for strength from God and emotional support from your family and friends and for justice to be done to curtail your ex from being able to be alone anymore with your son and daughter. This is the work of Satan and so wrong on multiple levels, and I haven’t even mentioned the damage that has been done to you. You are brave and a light and an honorable defender of righteousness. Let’s get the word out that Janna needs help and do what we can to push her case forward and have this judge’s rulings overturned. If any of you have legal or social services expertise, please lend your advice pronto!

  14. Jordan
    Jordan says:

    Wow! Wow!
    Shame on this man. Religious zealots aren’t even this crazy about their own agenda.

    This is the third dramatic case of gay judicial activism. The first was the gay judge who overturned the people’s vote for Prop 8. The second is the gay judge in Texas who refuses to marry straight people. And now this. It’s obvious what the judge was doing here.

    Don’t be afraid to speak up. America needs us restore some order and civility and fairness. This extreme bias in favor of gays at any expense is going to ruin families. But if you’ve dug deep enough that won’t be a surprise because many gay leaders plan for dismantling marriage altogether and changing our monogamous culture to their culture, which happens to be full of HIV and prostitution (do your research before you call that last statement crazy).


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